"Riders Of The Apocalypse"
Intro
by Osiris Brackhaus & Beryll
Starring Colin Farrell as Lucifer
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Jerusalem, 4:30 am local time
Steady rain fell onto the rear parking lot of a large but otherwise very ordinary supermarket. The light of the few lanterns was reflected nervously in countless puddles, and despite the nearby housing complex, all was calm. Almost silently, the rain fell on, undisturbed by any passer-by at this ungodly hour.
Yet, from one moment to another, there were four figures standing on the wide concrete surface, four riders on horses, unmoving, as if a mere mirage conjured up by the street lanterns. But they weren't.
"So here we are", the rider on the tallest horse stated after quite a while. "Finally, it begins."
His steed was a giant black battle-horse, scarred and splattered with gore, its armored coat showing the marks of countless battles. There was a mad fire in its eyes, and smoke rising from its nostrils, but the ferocious beast only matched his master.
The man who had spoken was a huge warrior in blood-red armor,
a longsword and a triple flail crossed on his back. Where his face was supposed
to be there was nothing but engulfing darkness, but what he lacked of facial
expression, he easily made up for with his stance.
He was thrilled.
"Now what do you think, guys", he jovially asked his fellow Riders. "Who of us is gonna win?"
"Don't be ridiculous", the Rider next to him replied dryly. "This is no kind of sport."
War looked at the black-hooded skeleton with a tilt to his head that looked as if he was amused. "Somehow, I expected you to say that."
Death chose to ignore his friend's jibe and instead continued to stare at the rain with no expression at all. Which, given the fact that his fleshless face was frozen in a perpetual grin, was quite an achievement.
"And what about the two of you?" the incarnation of conflict asked his remaining companions. "Any bets?"
"Betting with you is as much fun as arm-wrestling with you", the other rider closest to him replied. Giggling softly, the maggot-infested, bloated man shook his head. "War, we've all been planning for this day since the beginning of time. We all have plans, and no-one's is stupid enough to get into any sort of contest with you." Shaken by a sudden violent cough, Pestilence stopped his argumentation and pulled a wriggling piece of slime out of his throat. "Wow", he whispered in awe of his own craftsmanship. "That's gonna be one nasty epidemic." He flung the piece of slime at the supermarket's rear entrance.
War laughed wildly, so amused even his horse started prancing nervously, its hooves drawing sparks even on the lot's wet concrete surface.
"And what do you think, Famine?"
The emaciated, rag-clad figure on an equally starved mare only pointed his bony finger and said: "We've got a visitor."
Surprised, all other Riders looked up and found a man leaning against one of the lanterns, smoking, his dark hair and clothes soaked by the rain.
"So the old wanker has finally lost his patience, hasn't he?", the man asked and started to walk over to the four as he could be sure of their attention.
"How can he see us?", Pestilence asked in bewilderment, trying to reign in his horse that tried to walk away backwards.
"Lucifer Lightbringer....", Famine whispered more to himself than anything else, apparently not really surprised at the unannounced appearance of the Lord of Lies.
"What do you want, hellspawn?", War bellowed, his horse spurting flames from its nostrils.
"Hellspawn?!", Lucifer asked in indignation. "Lad, there was no hell when I 'spawned'. If I may remind you, I was there before everything was created, including the four of you. I was the FIRST." Flinging away his cigarette, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his denims. "So please, refrain from calling me 'hellspawn', as this is plainly syntactically wrong."
"What do you want?", War repeated with a hint of nervous boredom in his voice.
"Seduce you to the dark side of the force is what I want.", the Fallen One explained mockingly. "No, serious. You're my favorite boy-band, and I've got all your CD's, but you positively are about to make one hell of mistake in this case."
Pestilence scratched his head in utter confusion. "What is he talking about?"
"Just shut up", Famine muttered.
"HE has decided." Death's hollow voice cut through the air like a knife.
"Yeah, sure." Wiping his dripping hair out of his unshaved face, Lucifer added caustically: "And you really believe the old wanker is infallible?"
Death seemed confused for a moment, then, asked: "Who?"
"The Lord, honey. HE, the ONE, Jahwe. My, fucking GOD, for Christ's sake!" Lucifer seemed as if he had real problems believing his former colleagues could be so dense.
"Don't be ridiculous."
"You haven't changed at all over the ages, have you?" Lighting another cigarette with the tip of his finger, Lucifer continued. "Serious, why do you think the old guy had to kick me out of heaven, huh?"
"Because you. - ", Pestilence started but was cut off by the devil.
"Yeah, we all know that line. But why did he create me in a way that displeased him in the very first place? Why didn't he destroy me once the allegedly omniscient being found out? Or repaired me to suit his liking? Ever thought about that?"
Only silence and the constant drizzle answered his last question, and before any of the Riders could say anything smart, Lucifer continued.
"So face the facts, boys, the old wanker fucked up once already and can do so again. And he does so right now."
Before anyone could react, War jumped off his horse and hurled himself at the Fallen One, but even inhumanely fast as he was, his fist hit only empty air and a whiff of sulfur.
"Oh please." Standing just a few feet from where he had disappeared, Lucifer reproachfully wagged his finger. "Never forget who changed your nappies when you were small, boys. You'll still have to do a lot of growing up if you want to surprise me one of these days."
Ignoring the growling War, Lucifer's voice got serious. "Listen, I'm not joking. I like this place, honestly, and I think you're doing wrong to bring an end to everything. Okay, humanity's a bunch of rotten apples all together, but I like them. There's a lot of things that I still want to watch happening, and just because the old wanker's fed up with his old game doesn't mean he can go and destroy everything."
"Stop tempting us, Fallen One", the incarnation of war hissed at him, "your lies won't deter us from our rightful duty!"
"Yeah. That's precisely what I fear." Looking straight at the four Riders, he asked: "Maybe you really don't care about anything down here. But what about yourselves? Ever thought about not being? There won't be any of you left either at the end of days. Wouldn't you miss existence? Is there truly nothing you would miss?"
"It's our place and our duty." Death's comment sounded final as, well, death. "Nothing you can say will change our minds."
"Maybe." Lucifer sighed in resignation, then added: "Just don't forget that the lines are drawn. I'll hinder your course wherever I can, and never make the mistake to assume this day sees me unprepared." Turning around to face War, he winked at the warrior and said: "See ya in hell, honey!", and disappeared.
For a while, none of the Riders spoke. Then, finally, it was Death who broke the silence.
"Work is waiting." Reigning his skeletal horse to the left, he rode into the darkness and disappeared.
"Right." Vigorously, War somersaulted onto his steed and hooted in anticipation. "Let's get ready to rumble!" And off he was, leaving Pestilence and Famine standing in the rain.
"See you next Thursday, as usual?", Pestilence asked his colleague.
Famine just nodded thoughtfully. "I'll find you."
"Oh, this is all so exciting!"
If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Osiris Brackhaus & Beryll
go to PART 1