"Heat"
by Beryll & Osiris Brackhaus

 

August, 2004, somewhere in New Mexico...

- Orli -

Moth of dust were dancing in the bright sunlight. The sun had been beating down mercilessly for the whole day, trying to burn anything exposed to it to cinders. The air above the stretch of asphalt-road leading from the farm toward the town was wavering of the heat. The asphalt itself soft, almost sticky, near melting.

I kept away from the road, instead walking on the small strip of dry grass next to it. To my left and right were fields. Almost all of them were empty now, the harvest almost done. I had helped with a good deal of it since I had come here about a month ago.

A whole month in one place. What a weird feeling. But I had needed to gather some cash for the winter. I was still not sure where I was going to go. Maybe over the border to Mexico, maybe up north to Canada. But I wouldn't go back to the reservation as I had done in previous winters. I really was getting to old to crawl back to the old man each cold season. Last year I had been the only one of my siblings to come back. Time to stay on my own feet for the whole year.

I raked my hand through my sweaty hair, brushing the grainy dust from my brow as well. I needed a swim. Badly. Dusty was okay but the sweat sticking my faded T-shirt to my skin, even forming dark splotches on my jeans disgusted me. Tonight, I promised myself.

But now I was heading to town to buy the new pair of cowboy boots I had promised myself. The one I was wearing now was far, far beyond repair. The hole in the sole of the left one was almost an inch wide and there just wasn't enough leather left in the right one to attach the sole back to the rest of the boot. Considering that they had carried me all across the country for almost two years, that was okay. They deserved a honorable funeral. I would burn them tonight.

The last month had filled my money reserves nicely. I had almost three-hundred dollars now. As I didn't need any for food or accommodations that meant I had more than enough to get through the winter. And even have some for cigarillos.

Whistling happily to myself I stretched my shoulders to get some of the kinks out that had formed from cleaning the big harvest machines. Today I would go shopping, tonight I would celebrate. And tomorrow I would move on.

So I had told the kind lady who owned the farm and she had been close to heart-broken. Her two sons were off to university and would likely never come back to take over the farm. Her husband had died of a heart-attack some years ago. And all the guys working for her regularly just weren't - me. I grinned widely. To her this month had been a dream with the son she had always wanted. She would have loved me to stay. She would probably gladly have given me the farm, had I wanted it. It was so easy to make people fall in love with me.

Slowly the fields receded from the street and the small town came into view. It was one of those typical southern farming towns. Nothing here but narrow-minded people. Republicans through and through. A hundred years ago a stranger walking into a town like this would have been arrested and hung in a matter of days. Nowadays one only got arrested and shipped off to state prison. Unless - again - one was me.

The sheriff had stayed suspicious for exactly ten minutes. Then he had decided that I was the best behaved young man who had ever set foot into his town and now he treated me with the condescending joviality of a wise uncle. And I made sure he never caught me laughing at him.

Only when I actually entered the town did my senses register the slight change in smell that the air had undergone since I had been to town two days before. It was only a tinge of animals other than pigs and cows but to me it stood out like a flagpole. And there also was something else... dry canvass? Strange.

Before I could follow my nose to the origin of the scent, the sheriff saw me walking down the main road and emerged from his office to meet me. I put on my bright smile.

"Good afternoon, sir." I said and he tipped his hat in greeting. "Hello there, son. How's work going at Mrs. Bell's farm?"

"Pretty well, sir. We're almost finished. Just need to get some new screws for the machinery. I want to get it all fixed and ready for next season before the equipment is stored away." That was a lie of course. I would sleep another night in the barn and be gone tomorrow. But he liked a diligent boy.

"You're a good boy." he told me as if on cue and patted my shoulder. "Not like these scoundrels who have come into town this morning..."

"What happened?" I asked curiously.

"Oh... a circus is in town. Don't like them folk much. All thieves and villains, they are...."

I nodded gravely, feigning complete agreement. A circus... that might explain the strange scent. I didn't like the traveling freak-shows who passed as circuses down here either. They were dirty, they were cruel and mostly treated their animals like dirt. And the humans working there as well.

"But my sweet Bessy wants to go see the monsters so I guess I'll have to accompany her, huh?" The sheriff continued, now talking about his daughter. The fact that I hadn't shown any interest whatsoever in the little bitch had even increased the bright image he had of me...

"I might go have a look at it now." I said thoughtfully. "But I don't think I want to see a show. Still too much work to do on the farm."

The sheriff nodded proudly, as if it was to his credit that I was 'such a good boy'.

"Well, then I don't want to keep you, son. I'm sure Mrs. Bell is expecting you back." He again patted my shoulder and then headed back to his office. Probably to oil his guns and hope that he would get a chance to use them in the evening.

As the afternoon was still early and terribly hot the street lay deserted. Again I followed my nose towards the scent that I could now identify as the canvass used for a circus tent and the smell of animals far past despair.

When me and my siblings had still been very small, our mother had told us to beware of circus people. 'they have an uncanny knack at recognizing us and for them it is the ultimate dream to catch one of our people. Stay away from them. And if you can't, charm them.' Sound advise for sure. But my curiosity was getting the better of me. Just a quick peep wouldn't hurt.

The red-and-white-stripped tent had been erected on the open area right next to the road leading out of town towards the next freeway. It looked old and run-down. So did the people sluggishly moving back and forth between the big tent and the trailers parked close to it. There were also some old-fashioned wooden wagons - nowadays drawn by trucks - in which the animals were kept.

I stopped on the road, shoving my hands into my back-pockets, thoughtfully staring over at the camp site. I made an effort not to venture closer, but I was just to curious. Just as they say: curiosity killed the cat.

The circus people mostly ignored me, probably hoping that I would tell all my friends how vital it was to see the show if they let me snoop around. I watched an impossibly fat woman waddle across the camp site to yell at a tall guy with a big black mustache who probably posed as the 'strongest man on earth'. A tiny girl was practicing tricks with paper plates. As she was not very good and dropped most of them it was easy to see why she was not allowed real plates.

Then I heard shouting from one of the cage wagons and moved over to it, again driven by curiosity. I didn't really wish to see an animal suffer but I just had to know what was going on.

I don't know what I had expected to find but certainly not this. A naked young man was cowering in one corner of the straw-strewn cage. He had his arms raised to protect his face. He could only be described as filthy. His body was covered with dirt and dried blood, his long hair was a tangled mass of indiscernible color. And he was whimpering pathetically.

In front of him stood a man in a faded tuxedo, complete with cylinder and long whip, yelling at the poor guy. "Change, you filthy bastard! I know you can! Or do I have to beat manners into you again?!"

The cowering man's only reply was a strangled whine that could have meant anything.

The director of the circus - for that was the only thing he could be - seemed not amused. His whip hit the naked guy hard and left bloody streaks on his arms and chest. "Change! Or I'll beat the crap out of you! You know I will!"

In horrid fascination I watched as the man mercilessly beat his victim without anybody seeming to care.

Then suddenly, a hard shudder wracked the body of the naked guy and I felt bile rise in my throat when his limbs started to contort in a decidedly inhuman fashion. Fur sprouting from his skin, his legs and arms violently shifting into another form. A pain-filled howl escaped the throat of the wolf who was now cowering the corner, blood matting his dark-brown fur. He pressed himself to the ground, trying to hide his snout under his forepaws in an all too human gesture, his tail tugged between his legs in fear.

The director laughed happily. "See, told you, you could!" he said, grinning widely, walking over to the terrified animal.

'Bite him!' I thought. 'Rip out his throat! Don't let him treat you like this!'

But when the director got on his knees and stroked the neck of the wolf, he didn't react but for a tiny yelp of pain.

"Good boy." The director told him. "And here is your treat." he pulled some stripes of dried meat from his pocket and laid them down in front of the wolf. The animal just shuddered in fear, his snout and eyes still firmly hidden underneath his paws.

Only now did the director notice me standing in front of the cage, gapping open mouthed. "That's our famous wolf-man." he told me, his voice brimming with pride. "He's a bit difficult at times but don't worry, boy, he's well under control."

I managed a shaky nod in return. Yes, he definitely was under control. I could see that.

The director left the cage through a side door, firmly locking it behind him. Only when he had left did the trembling slowly subside in the body of the wolf. Still it took a long time till it finally dared to glimpse out from under it's paws.

I was not sure if I felt disgust or pity. How could anybody sink that low? I didn't have a very good opinion on the dogs anyway but this was just... shameful. I watched as he sniffed the dried meat in front of him and then licked it with the deep distaste of an animal that recognizes bad food but knows it will not get any other. I must have made some sound, for he suddenly turned his shaggy head towards me and my heart went still when I looked into the amber eyes staring at me in fear. So much hurt, so much confusion, so much sadness that it just overwhelmed me.

For a long moment I was lost in those eyes. Then I turned away and fled the camp site as quickly as my feet would carry me.

----

- Marton -

There was pain.
Pain and fear, both of them trying to eat my mind.

I knew I had been in human form all the time before I turned into what I was now, and I vaguely remembered it to be the proper way.

But I had changed. Changed in both body and mind, for neither could I fully control the shape I was in, nor could I remember who I had been before. There were glimpses, images like faded pictures of another life, but none of them made sense to me anymore.

I lived in the cage, ate what He gave me, slept when He allowed me to.
Every time I did not comply with his wishes, he beat me, infuriating the beast that lurked in the dark corners of my clouded mind, making it want to take what little was left of me.
His violence always changed my shape, after a time, as if my body was getting ready for a deadly attack once the monster within me had won.

But I didn't let it happen.

With what little control I had left, I clung to my human self, fending off whatever my instincts told me to do, shielding myself against the fury of my unnatural self.

It didn't matter to Him, though.
He wanted me to perform tricks, whether human or beast didn't butter any bread with him. I hated him for making me do this, hated myself for allowing him to. But what could I do?

My mind was so befuddled even most words seemed to have left me, and how could I fight him? He kept me almost starved, my whole body shaking with weakness whenever I did anything else but lying around.

I knew it was warm outside my cage, but I shivered none the less.
He fed me not enough to survive, yet neither enough to make me starve.

I lived a constant nightmare, my mental self besieged from inner demons, my outer self captured and kept like a wild animal. But I wouldn't give in. Never would I allow Him to make me lose what little was left of me. Neither His whip nor hunger would change that.
My days blurred into an inconsistent haze, filled with tiny bits of clear, shameful memories floating upon a huge gray sea of forgetfulness like so many razor-sharp icebergs. I couldn't have said how long I had been captured, whether I had suffered weeks or months or years at His cruel hands.

But one single day changed that.

He had beaten me into changing my shape once again, I could feel the blood in my dark fur, the angry throb of whip-lashes all on my snout and chest. I felt pathetic, shameful, and yet again, I did not let the beast have the rest of me, by then a simple exercise. But I wondered if the life I was leading truly was worth fighting for, if there was no end to my suffering, no hope of betterment in sight.
And then, I smelled him.

Another Him, not the dark man in his tuxedo, not the one who had caged me, but someone else.
Not human, not beast. Different.
Looking around, trying not to move too fast so He wouldn't notice anything of interest to me, I could see him standing close to my cage, staring at me.

A boy, slender like a willow, his faded dark clothes and messy dark curls sticking out of the garishly colored surroundings of the circus I had been captured by. His eyes were green, dark green with a hint of brown, and even though they looked perfectly human, I knew they were not.

Only for a moment, this eye-contact lasted, before the boy turned away and left me to my misery again.

But I would remember him. In my memory, I almost saw his pupils growing into long, slender wedges, and I didn't even have to have sniffed into his direction to know that he was just like me. Or my diametrical opposite, to be precise.
I was caught between being part man, part wolf and he was part cat, part man. Yet, very much unlike me, he was apparently perfectly at ease with his state.

I hate cats.

----

- Orli -

The moon hung low over the top of the lonely pile of rocks I had chosen as my resting place. It looked slightly hazy, reddish and bloated. An ill omen, my old man would have said. He was a typical Indian. Believed in all that spirit and nature crap. Maybe that was why my mom had chosen him to sire her kittens. Maybe she had hoped some of it would rub off on us. As far as I could tell it hadn't worked

Me and my siblings were the same materialistic, irresponsible tramps she was. I knew that one of my sisters had made it big time in L.A. seen her face on plenty of magazines lately. No wonder, she was a beauty. Like all of us. Maybe I should spend the winter with her, all nice and cozy living off her money.

Thoughtfully I licked my right forepaw and began to wash the last traces of blood from my face. It had been a good hunt. During the last month I had refrained from going after fresh game. The locals might have noticed there was a predator about. But now that I was leaving anyway I had killed a fat calf and eaten my fill. The farmer had plenty. One less wouldn't kill him and if it did, I certainly didn't care.

Again my eyes were drawn to the ugly moon and I caught myself wondering, if the wolf might look up at it now too. It was well past midnight. The 'show' would be over by now and they would have put him back into his cage. Pathetic creature. Weak and cowardly.

Why didn't he fight back? He could easily have ripped out that humans throat. I would have. And I would have enjoyed feasting on him.

With a disgusted sneezing I turned on my back, rubbing myself against the hard rocks beneath me. What I would have given for a good back-scratch now. But who would be willing to approach a huge panther to indulge him in that way? Humans were so... prejudiced. I wouldn't eat them. Tasted much to vile with all the poisons they were devouring daily.

If he ever howled at the moon like his free brethren did? Or was he even to scared to do that?

Fuck.

Those amber eyes seemed to look down from the moon, full of reproach. 'Why do you leave me like that?' They asked. 'Are you enjoying your freedom?'

'Stay away from the dogs', my mom had told us. 'Cats and dogs don't mix. They do their thing, we do ours. The world is big enough for all of us. If they want to claim a territory, let them. They never pick the best parts. Stupid fleabags.'

But would she have approved of this? Of a child of nature trapped for the amusement of humans? Probably not. What would she have told me? I had no idea. But those amber eyes haunted me none the less. How was I supposed to enjoy a decent nap when the poor guy was held in a stinking cage with humans poking sticks at him to see if he would hide or bite.

With an exasperated sigh I got up and jumped down from my pile of stones. It wouldn't be that dangerous to sneak back into the circus camp, now that they were all tired. It wouldn't be that hard to pick the lock of that cage either. Just a little detour before I disappeared into the night, leaving this place behind. He could go his way, I could go mine.

Maybe he'd even remember to thank me and not hunt me across dry New-Mexican roads like a dog chasing a stray cat.

---

It didn't take me very long to get back to town. One travels so much faster on four feet than on two. All was quiet. The streets lay deserted. All good, law abiding citizens long having disappeared into their beds. The heat of the day was still lingering in the streets. Now only a gentle warm breeze but still enough to awaken memories of the dry heat that had clung to this town for weeks.

I loved the heat. I loved dozing in the midday sun, her light soaking my black pelt through and through till I was close to catching fire. That was when I felt most alive and most content at once. Pity the humans who had lost the ability to value such simple things.

The circus camp was mostly asleep as well. In some of the trailers light was still on, but most were dark and loomed next to the tent like the sleeping forms of horribly disfigured giants. The smell rising from the camp had not improved in my absence. How could these humans manage to drench the air and the ground with their vile smell in the course of a single day? It made my skin crawl.

I shifted back to my human form well outside the sight of any of the illuminated trailers. Not that they would have been able to see anything from in there but one could never be careful enough. And the pale full moon didn't help much in hiding either.

For quite a while I silently crouched on a hilltop nearby, watching the camp. Might be that I would like to help the dog. But that didn't mean I was willing to face any serious danger on his behalf.

Only when I was sure that all the circus folk were in their trailers, none of them snooping around outside, guarding their meager possessions, did I make by way down to the cages where my friend wolf was trapped.

Even as I approached his cage I could hear him. Clawed paws softly clicking on the wooden planks of the cage. Back and forth, back and forth. 'Like a caged animal', a little voice in my head supplied and I snorted softly in amusement.

Immediately the pacing stopped. At least his hearing was still working. Now lets hope he wouldn't bark at me and wake the whole place.

I peered around the edge of the cage opposite him and met his gaze. He was staring straight at me, ears pricked up, his eyes gleaming yellow in the light of the moon. For a long moment I stayed where I was, ready to bolt at any noise from him but he stayed perfectly still.

I felt the small hairs on my neck rise. Every fiber of my being suddenly demanded I get away as quickly as possible. How could I be stupid enough to get within biting distance of a fragging wolf?

But I made my feet move over to the side of his cage anyway. To hell with all that crap. I could still shift and jump on top of the cage. He wouldn't follow me there. At least I hoped he wouldn't.

The padlock on the door was even less of a problem than I had anticipated. I just had to poke around in it a bit and it clicked open. Very slowly I opened the door to the cage. To keep it from creaking and to get a look inside before he could jump me.

He still stood completely still. Only his head had turned towards the door so his eyes met mine again. That was certainly not what I had expected. Now what? Would I have to carry him to freedom?

"Come on." I whispered softly.

Only now did I notice the fresh blood on his fur. Obviously he had been beaten again since I had seen him this afternoon. That bastard human. There was pain and confusion in his eyes. And something else that I could not quite place. But slowly realization dawned as well.

He took one hesitant step towards the door, then another. And then he was outside in one huge leap, landing two paces away from me.

I didn't stick around to discuss his further plans. I just turned around and sneaked out of the camp the way that I had come as quickly as I could. Only when I was back on the top of that hill overlooking the camp did I notice that he had followed me as faithfully as a good dog.

---

- Marton -

That weird cat-man had returned. And even less expected, he had set me free.

After all the beatings, the abuse, the pain and the hunger, I could hardly grasp that he actually did it. He had just walked up to my cage picked the lock and told me to come out.

It had looked that easy, shamefully so.

But I had been kept by more bonds than just the lack of a lock-pick. With the beast constantly assaulting the remnants of my former self, I had lost most of my human memory. Including most of the more nimble uses of my fingers. Even if someone had given me a pick, I would have hardly been able to figure out what to do with it.
And also, there had been nowhere I could really run to.

I didn't remember being at home somewhere. I didn't even remember my name. And here, at least, people didn't run away in fear when they saw me. And if ever the beast would win, they would kill me before I could harm any of them.
I was a danger to all people.

And yet, maybe this cat-boy knew something that would help me. Maybe he could show me how to be so at ease with what we were.
So, instead of running wildly into the open, or at least ripping the throat out of Him, as the beast within me demanded, I followed the young man who so unexpectedly had set me free, my tail wagging with excitement despite all my efforts to look remotely dignified.

And yet, there was also something remotely unnerving about him. It took me a while to figure out what it was, and though it seemed the first obvious solution, it was not his admittedly exceedingly pretty backside hovering just above me in my field of vision. But the way he moved had something that set my heart pounding with something else than lust.
He moved like - prey. My ears were twitching violently with irritation when I finally got it, but it still made sense. He was so nimble, so slender. Healthy. It would be a joy hunting him across the plains, see him run, trying to avoid me, losing length after length on his head-start, until I finally would jump on him, plunging my teeth deep into his neck, breaking skin and bones, savoring -

Forcefully, I had to jerk myself out of the line of thoughts that the beast had forced onto my mind. He was a human being at least as much as I was, and I would NOT eat him. The fact that he looked delicious in my eyes suddenly wasn't a compliment anymore.

Gods, I am such a sick puppy, I thought to myself, when suddenly the cat-boy stopped and turned around to face me.
I did NOT get my tail to stop wagging in time, and I could see catboy frown with slight disgust. Yeah, if you think me so disgusting, why'd you free me in the first place, I wondered. Actually, why at all?

I tried to speak, but my snout was not made for producing such sounds. All I managed was a gargling cough, and catboy laughed softly in the silence of the night. Snotty bastard.

"Shh. Don't try to speak. We'll sort that out later." Sighing, he added: "Now what am I to do with you? Can't have you follow me all the way to my home, can I? You're not exactly looking like a German shepherd, you know?"

I felt a low growl emerge from my throat, but he just grinned and said: "Well, I think I'll clean you first, and once I know what's underneath all the dirt, we'll decide. You OK with that?"

Forcing down the urge to jump at him and claw that stupid smile out of his pretty face, I nodded, once more despising the fact that I had no control over my changes. In my human form I would at least have been able to thank him. And he surely didn't look like he was going to like me licking his face.

But getting clean for the first time in what seemed like eternity to me was a perfect idea, and again despite myself, I started to run around him in circles, all wagging tail and lolling tongue. If I had had hands, I would have slapped myself.

With another soft laugh, catboy shook his head, his face a slightly disgusted sneer. "You really are a shame for your race. But we'll see if the cat can teach you to behave like a real dog after all. I'm called Orlando, in case you want to know."

And with these words, he bent forward, as if going down on all fours, but he started changing in the process. With utter amazement I watched him sprout fur dark as the night herself, his clothes and shoes disappearing almost like by magic, whiskers growing from his lips, his huge eyes growing even bigger than before. When his transformation was complete, he was almost as tall as I, and I even forgot to wag my tail so stunned was I, staring at him.
I had expected a cat, maybe a lynx, but by no way I had thought of being freed by a giant were-panther.
The huge predator flashed a toothy smile at me, his tail swinging languidly, and then darted off into the night, having me run hard to keep up with him.

Suddenly, he didn't look that tasty at all anymore.

---

- Orli -

I tried not to run too fast. Wouldn't do to have it look like I was afraid of him, right? But he was an impressive creature, tall in shoulder even for a fully grown wolf, his head large and shaggy with his blood and dirty encrusted mane, his teeth sharp and white in his snout. He hadn't looked quite that menacing from outside his cage...

Or maybe it was just the natural fear any cats feels when faced with a dog, no matter what the size. Still it was an uncomfortable feeling to hear him run behind me, his paws hitting the dry dirt of the plains regularly. It took all my strength of will not to look over my shoulder to see how he was keeping up, if I could outrun him if I chose to try. I would not show fear or weakness in front of a dog!

I led the way towards the silent lake, far away from prying human eyes were I had bathed myself this evening. And I wondered what I was supposed to do with him. Obviously he had no control over his shifting at all. And not much control over his behavior either. Otherwise he wouldn't have jumped around me like a little puppy, that I was pretty sure of. He had actually seemed a bit embarrassed about that. Maybe there was hope yet, that he could be turned into a decent were-creature...

And I caught myself wondering, what the color of his fur might be under all that dirt, how this big, strong body would look clean and hale. It was disgusting to think such thought about a dog but I found myself considering what it would feel like to run human hands through his mane, to scratch his thick fur, slowly coaxing him back into his human form - his completely naked human form.

Which inevitably brought me back to the problem of what to do with the wolf. The human might actually be nice and all, but right now I had no idea of how to teach him to shift at will. And as long as he was helplessly trapped in his wolf form I couldn't very well just leave him alone. He might do something really stupid, like get himself killed by an overeager hunter. Or even worse, he might eat one...

Why did I even care about that? Because you freed him, stupid, a voice suspiciously sounding like my mothers answered in my mind. Now your responsible for the big hairy hunk.

Great, just great. I had gotten myself a 'loyal companion'. A dog.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I almost missed, when the sound of his paws started to grow irregular and fell farther and farther behind me. This time I did look over my shoulder to see what was keeping him. His tongue was lolling out of his mouth and his running had turned into something more resembling a stumble. Mentally smacking myself I realized how tired he must be, after having been kept hungry and beaten so often.

Immediately I slowed and waited for him to catch up. His breathing was short and desperate so I stopped completely to let him rest for a moment. He sat down next to me, slowly catching his breath, staring at me with unreadable amber eyes.

A panther and a wolf sitting next to each other in the middle of the New-Mexican plains... who would have believed...

Finally he gave a low growl and got up again, and nodded his head in a way that looked so weirdly human that my ears flicked in irritation. He seemed to know nothing at all about his wolf-nature. And when his animal instincts took over he obviously felt uncomfortable and scared.

I took off again at a more sedate pace and this time he was able to keep up with me, jogging next to me rather than behind me. Which felt more comfortable to me as well, as I could keep an eye on him that way.

But I kept wondering how he could have become like he was now. I thought it virtually impossible, that he had ever had a pack. It would have taught him long ago, how to be a werewolf. I had heard of 'lost cubs' before. Cats took great care to keep an eye on their kitten to make sure that children sired on unsuspecting humans were well cared for and that those who were able to shift were taught in time. But wolves were more unreliable. They sometimes simply lost track and also were more prone to giving in to their strong mating instincts.

Maybe this really wasn't his fault. I couldn't really imagine what it would be like to suddenly shift if nobody had ever told you it could happen. Especially as I had been born in my cat-form. But it must have been quite scary.

And it was sort of ironical that I, a cat, would now have to teach him how to be a proper wolf. For a moment I worried that this might lead to some trouble with the dogs. Cats and dogs simply didn't mix. And they might get snappy about me taking in this lost one. But then again, they had failed to care for there own, they didn't have the right to complain.

In the distance I caught the first scent of water and then I saw the glistening of water under the full moon.

My companion gave a sound that could only be described as a happy yelp and ran ahead, plunging at full speed into the shallow waters at the edge of the lake, splashing water everywhere. I sat down on a large rock far out of reach and watched him play with delighted abandon, ducking under, tail wagging, whining and yelping like a little puppy allowed outside the first time.

But maybe that was not so wrong an impression after all. Who could know, if he had ever enjoyed such freedom?

Still I would never led myself be caught in such an undignified manner... Happily I tugged my tail under my forepaws looking very much like an ancient creature of wisdom and royalty. Maybe it was not so bad to have a dog around after all. Made me look that much more majestic.

---

- Marton -

Had ever anyone told me how much of a delight a bath could be, I'd probably laughed at him. But not tonight. The cool, clean water was like a new life on my skin taking the hurt, the pain, the humiliation away together with the filth.
Every time I dived into the clean liquid, it felt like forgetting what had happened to me in the last month a little more, and each time I re-emerged, it was like remembering I got a new start.

After a while, even the delight of my newfound freedom couldn't distract me any longer from the fact that I was drop-dead tired, and I trotted out of the lake, searching for my feline companion. It took me a while to find the dark cat on the rock with only dim starlight to help me, but once my nose was basically dry, I could smell him as securely as I might have spotted him with my eyes in bright daylight..

He still smelled good. Very tasty. In many ways.

Though, admittedly, he still was a damn huge kitten. Slowly, I walked up to the black heap of posing fur, suppressing the urge to shake the water out of my fur with a malicious kind of humor.

But he was pretty alert, even for a cat, and jumped off to the next rock above him before I could douse him seriously. Looking down on me, that huge cat gave me what might have passed for a grin, and then did that impossible trick again and changed smoothly back into a human being. A very handsome human being, that was.

"Well, doggy, did you enjoy your bath?", he asked, grinning maliciously. "You didn't really think you could catch me off-guard, did you?"

I only flashed my teeth, faintly hoping that it would look like a feral grin to him. Apparently, it did. The boy laughed out loud, shook his head, then said: "You really have still a fucking lot to learn, doggy." He paused for a moment, then added in a friendly tone: "Sorry, I really shouldn't pick on you. I'm Orlando, Orli for you. How am I to call you?"

Very funny.

I barked, or better made that sound that passed for a bark if produced with my wolfen larynx, and glared at the boy.

"Was that your name or are you trying to tell me to fuck off? We really have to work on your pronunciation. Even I can hear you can hardly get one sound out straight. "

Orli jumped off his cliff, gracefully landing next to me. "Sorry", he said softly as he knelt next to me. "It's just so hard trying to be nice to a dog... I mean, to a wolf."

Instead of trying to get any decent word or other sound out of my desperately untrained throat, I just rubbed my nose at his knee in what I considered a friendly gesture. Orli giggled and sat down square on his back, patting my head with his slender hand.

"Yeah, good boy", he snickered, but still was looking genuinely affected.

Shamefully, his friendly demeanor made me start wagging with my tail again, and I could have bitten it off if it hadn't produced a far more shameful scene if I had tried. Dogs hunting their own tails were pathetic to look at, how much worse must a wolf be?

So I went on wagging my half-wet tail, noticing with a soft dismay that Orli-cat shook his head again and grinned.

"Oh boy, why on earth it's me ending up with a hand-tame wolf pet to teach how to be feral?", he said good-humored. "Especially if it looks like there's still so much to teach?"

I growled softly, playfully as I hoped, and the pather-shapeshifter looked at me with a certain fatalism.

"Alright. So we gonna start with something simple. Let's get you back into homid form."

I had no idea at all what he was talking about, except for a faint feeling that he wanted me to change back to my human seeming. With a certain surprise, I noticed I had never before done so consciously, and I was at an utter loss on how to trigger the change.

"Alright, doggy, we will start one by one. And I will keep on calling you doggy until you can tell me your proper name, just as an additional incentive."

Snotty bastard. If I had remembered my name, I would have written it into the dirt long ago.

But there was no point in fuming, for this snotty cat-man was right now the only person that might be able to help me.

"Alright. Concentrate."

What the fuck do you think I am doing here?

"Think of how it felt when you had a human body. Remember how your hands felt."

Err.... My memory was a foggy nothing, and trying to stir up things in the mist didn't reveal things, it only made the mists move. I remembered to be human, of course. But my body? I knew I had hands, and I remembered consciously that each had five fingers. But right now, if asked to draw a picture of my hand, I would have been surprised if I had produced anything but a nice, canine paw.

"Concentrate....", the boy's voice rang in the back of my head, and even though I tried very hard, I couldn't grasp one thing in my mind.

"Just remember and let it happen, even if it feels sick. You'll get used to it."

It didn't feel sick, it hurt like hell every single time. Even the memory of it made the fur in my neck stand upright.

"Concentrate...:"

This time, I growled at him, growled with all the barely withheld rage of the beast, as while concentrating on my human body, I had for a split second let go of my hold on my human soul. Aghast, Orli scrambled back a step, looking truly alert and ready to jump and run for his life.

"Oh my boy!", he exclaimed, staring at me with widest eyes. "Now THAT just sounded like the real thing..."

We both looked at each other for a moment, and I used the moment of silence to get my control firmly back into place. This had been a damn close one....

"Alright", Orli said softly, as if still deciding what to do next. "So you don't want to. I gathered that much."

Having my reactions firmly in control of my human self again, I slowly walked over to him and rubbed my snout against his chin.

"Ewk", he said, grinning despite himself. "Blech. Stop that, or I'll make a knot in your tail. We'll try again tomorrow. It was all a bit much for you today, I admit. Alright?"

Instead of an answer, I tried to lick his face, but that impossible boy managed to snap my tongue between his fingers before I could get close to him.

"Na - ," he pointed out with a clear warning in his face, "I might be a patient teacher, but this surely is one thing you'll never do again, or I'll cut your tongue off!"

Somewhat surprised by having my tongue held hostage, I nodded in agreement, and Orli snickered once more.

"You really are a puppy, you know that?" Instead of waiting for any kind of reaction from my side, he added: "Come on, lets go seek somewhere decent to sleep. You surely deserved some rest."

---

Orli

Waking up after a night spent under an overhanging rockformation with the cold of the night still clinging to my pelt I was not feeling as cheerful and benevolent as I had been the previous night. Actually I was cursing my kind heart for the stupidity of taking the responsibility for wolf pup. Cause that was what he really was - a pup.

Had I been on my own I could have taken a room in a cheap motel but there was no way in hell that they wouldn't recognize my companion for what he was. Even so he was tamer than many dogs I had met in my life on the road.

He was still asleep. He had tried to curl up close to me some time in the night, seeking warmth in mindless sleepiness and I had nearly bitten him in my equally sleepy shock. He hadn't even noticed. His instincts were so underdeveloped that it bordered on suicide.

With a soft sigh I sat up, trying to make my left ear stop it's nervous twitching with a conscious effort. I didn't want to be near this wolf! But it looked like it would be a while till I was rid of him again. The longer I stayed with him the more attached I would get. Silly me.

As there was nothing else to do I started washing myself, starting with my face and then thoroughly cleaning my paws. There were still tiny bits of the calf I had had for dinner the previous evening stuck in my claws and they wet my appetite. In response my stomach growled and that finally woke doggy.

He blinked at me lazily, then got up and stretched his back in a gesture that was as much cat as doglike. Obviously we had at least some things in common.

Then he looked at me and gave a questioning yelp that was accompanied by some growling of his stomach. It must have been a while till had any decent food. A long while, considering the way his rips showed even in his lupine form.

I changed back to my own human form so at least I could talk to him.

"Hungry?" I asked and he nodded his shaggy head in a very human gesture.

"We will have to hunt if we want to eat." I told him and watched unsurprised as his nose crinkled in disgust. So he didn't know how to hunt either... just great.

"Let's keep it simple," I said, leaving the protection of the rocks, walking out into the morning aimlessly, "let's find a fat cow. Even you should e able to kill a harmless pet like that."

He followed me with a mournful whine.

"Don't give my that crap, doggy. Either you starve or you kill. That's the way of the world. Face it, furball, you're a predator so better start acting like one or do you want to depend on a can opener?"

He trotted behind me, tail hanging, ears hanging too looking like he had been thoroughly doused but I just kept talking. "It's not as bad as you may think now. You'll enjoy hunting. Every changer does, trust me on this. And there is nothing better than burying you're teeth in warm, bloody meat."

He snorted disdainfully. It was amazing how much of a human was stuck in this canine body, considering that he didn't know how to change back.

"As long as you are a wolf you will have to eat like a wolf." I finished and he sniffed unhappily.

I reached down and affectionately scratched the spot behind his ears that itched on mine to no end as well. His grumpy mood changed instantly to a happy growl and a wagging tail. Simple creatures enjoy simple pleasures, I thought smiling down at him. But his fur was terribly tangled and I could well imagine what it must feel like so I kept scratching while walking beside him, slowly working out all the tangles.

I had chosen a basic southern direction, hoping to come across some kind of ranch sooner or later and I was not disappointed. I caught the smell of living meat on the air and stopped my fourfooted companion by holding on to his now rather impressive mane.

Kneeling down next to him I whispered: "Do you smell that? That's food. A nice tasty lunch for both of us."

He still looked rather unhappy, making typical puppy eyes.

I snorted. "What do you expect me to do? Buy some dog food? Highly unlikely. Come on!"

He sat down on his hunches, clearly not willing to oblige me.

With a deep sigh I got up, shaking my head. "Will you at least eat it if I kill it for you?" I asked, not really willing to argue any longer as my own belly was grumbling.

Doggy still looked disgusted but he nodded reluctantly.

"Okay, just wait here for me. I'll be back."

Effortlessly I shifted to my cat form and trotted off. The sun had risen high and again the sky seemed bleached almost colorless by brilliant light. The air was wavering above the ground and within seconds my black pelt felt like it was ablaze with the fires of hell. I didn't mind. I liked the heat.

Lazily I made my way across the dry fields, following my nose. It was rather unlikely that any human would be out to guard the herd in this weather. And the smell drifting around me was of utterly trusting and unconcerned cows. Even in their wildest nightmare this soft-eyed beauties wouldn't have imagined me coming for them.

The herd was just what I hoped them to be - fat and docile. I prowled around them for a while, waiting for a smaller one to wander a bit away from the group. Patiently I lay down beneath a dry bush. It didn't take long. A fat calf hopped away from it's mother, looking for greener grass. Like a shadow I followed it, till it was well out of sight of it's mother.

Then I pounced.

---

- Marton -

When he returned that day, I was seriously considering throwing up at the sight of the calf he was dragging through the grass. It's neck broken, hardly any blood flowing from where his huge teeth had closed around it's spine, it's huge, gentle brown eyes wide open in a mournful stare.

Well, not that I had despised eating a nice, charred steak right then, far from it, but the thought of still-warm, bloody meat from the bone revolted me. Especially when the animal I was about to rip the flesh off was still staring at me in sad confusion.

My feline companion changed back into his human form, so unselfconsciously mastering a task I seemed completely incapable of that I had to suppress an annoyed growl.

"Here, doggy", the human said with a subdued laugh, his smell still telling of his excitement at the kill. "You're not really expecting me to cut you the best pieces, are you?"

Growling in denial, I shook my head, and went closer to the dead calf in front of me. It didn't smell too bad, I had to admit, the faint, bloody smell reminding me vaguely of the smell I had subconsciously found tasty in a steak as well. But where to begin? I was pretty sure that never even in my human days, I had had to decide which way to cut a beef, despite maybe from where to start devouring my T-bone.

Uninspired, I started to nip at the beef's upper thigh, as it was the only place I was somehow sure I wouldn't immediately bite into some guts or other inedible stuff. But the skin was surprisingly resilient, and the short, coarse fur of the calf made me choke reflexively.

Behind me, catboy was snickering as if my shameful attempts at eating were hilariously funny. Well, for him, they probably were. I could feel the beast inside myself prowl up and down it's mental cage, furious at this insolent beast's silly laugh.
Calm, I thought to myself, calm down. Hungry as I was, it was hard enough to hold the beast at bay without having catboy giggling and snickering at my inept attempts. I just didn't want to find out what would happen if the beast overwhelmed me right now.

Trying to ignore the amused youngster next to me, I tackled my food again, this time biting with more fervor stemming from what little burning pride I had left in my stomach. Tearing at the still-warm flesh, I tried to get a decent chunk out of it, but again, the stuff prove tougher than I would ever have given it credit for. Pulling with more strength, I only managed to drag the cadaver across the ground before it caught in a root or something. Pulling with fury now, the only thing that I managed was slipping from the chunk of meat I was holding with my teeth, stumbling backwards a few confused steps before I landed most ignobly on the small of my back.

As to be expected, another burst of gleeful laughter broke from my companion, and this time, I was too slow in stopping the beast from taking control, even if only for a second. This time, I growled at him in a way I had never before thought possible, the fur of my neck raised, my head down, my tail horizontal.
With a certain feral satisfaction, I watched all amusement leave catboy in but a second, immediately replaced by wary caution, ready to jump away from me every moment. For a heartbeat or two, we both stared at each other, and when I was sufficiently sure that he was sobered up enough to let me eat in peace, I returned to my meal. From the corner of my eye, I could see Orli shift into his catform, probably because he could run away faster that way. Maybe it was only to hide another of his insolent smiles, but I couldn't have cared less.

I was ravenously hungry, and the taste of blood in my mouth made everything else secondary. Meat, fresh, healthy meat was lying directly under my nose, not the fetid, rancid stuff He had fed me. And this time, I noted with a slight worry, tearing at the flesh came to me most natural. Where had I suddenly gained that knowledge from?
Biting, tearing, biting, tearing. Not pulling. My teeth were build to hunt, to hold, to kill. Not to cut off pieces of docile vegetables.

Chewing on the meat, I savored it's taste, it's smell, the wonderful feeling of satiation that flooded my whole body with bliss the first time ever since I lost my being. And with the scent and the smell, other images flooded my mind.
Of running in the dark, of moonlit nights so clear I could see the fishes in the water, sleeping in the shallows. Of nights so dark I was running only by what my nose could tell me, of the scent of a running deer, of a sleeping raccoon, of a nesting suck on the ground.
Scents of the hunt, the feel of the moment just before you pounced at your unsuspecting prey, revealing your presence after you had sneaked up on it for half a night.

The smell of cats, annoying, stupid cats, fat and lazy with the stink of the city on them and the taste of processed food within them. That scent that made my ears twitch and my tail wag in nervous anger.
That scent that was coming like an overwhelming cloud from that huge black cat lying no more than a few steps beside my food, looking at me lazily, a condescending grin on it's haughty face.

Has you mother not taught you to beware of wolves, young one? Or did you just want to taunt me, lying so close by as if there was no danger at all in doing so? Were you that stupid you tried to pick a fight with me, or were you just stupid?
In anyway, that one was a cat that definitely yearned to be taught a lesson or two.

And then, abruptly leaving my meal, I pounced.

-----

- Orli -

Actually some part of me had known right from the start that it would come to this sooner or later. That part had been wondering all the time why it took him so fragging long to react to my taunting. Maybe I had even unconsciously done it on purpose to coax the beast out of him, to make him behave like a decent wolf for once.

But when he suddenly turned on me snarling, teeth blecked, snout bloody from the calf he still managed to give me quite a fright.

I had maybe a split second to decide what to do and as always in such moments instinct took over and I did what cat have done for countless eons when faced with an angry dog - I ran.

As fast as my paws would carry me and for the next tree. Which luckily was not that far away. It still was a close thing. Doggy collided with the tree trunk the moment I had reached the first branches and I hung on for dear life as the poor tree shook.

Then I quickly climbed higher to find a branch that offered more safety, while the wolf below me did the thing dogs have been doing with cats on trees for eons - he started growling and barking up the tree in utter fury and frustration.

Catching my breath I sat on the branch and looked down at my raging companion. Anger started to boil in my own heart, that he had made me flee, that he had managed to make me afraid. It should jump back down. I should show him what my teeth and claws were made for. I should show him that I was not a pussy cat to chase up trees.

But his teeth and claws did look rather big even from up here and the unholy fury burning in his eyes made it quite clear that he was not capable of rational thought right now - that he would rip me to pieces with utter disregard to the fact how much I had helped him so far.

Obviously he had finally found a way to his animal nature. There was nothing human at all about him now. And he didn't look like he would tire of his rage soon either. Instead he was scratching the bark off the tree in a vain attempt to climb after me.

I sought a more comfortable place to lie down. This would take a while. He would stop sooner or later. Dogs always did. But it would be later, not sooner.

Now we just had to hope that no foolish human looking for the disappeared calf would come close enough to hear him howling his anger or we would have a very dead human on our hands very soon. Or a very dead werewolf if the human was packing enough firepower.

The sun slowly climbed higher in the sky as the wolf below me circled the tree relentlessly, looking for a way up, hoping that I would drop right in front of his nose like a ripe fruit.

I laid my head down on my forepaws and let my eyelids drift nearly shut. No use in staying too alert. My ears would warn me soon enough if something changed.

It took nearly two hours to tire him out. Then he finally sat down at the trunk of the tree to stare up at me hatefully. His eyes were drifting shut to. He had eaten, he had hunted a cat - time to catch a nap for a good doggy.

He rolled up below the tree finally. As if he thought he would notice when I decided to leave my refuge. Snout tucked away under his forepaws he looked much less dangerous and I again wondered why I hadn't just jumped down and given him a bloody nose.

Strange how much the enmity between our races was embedded in our blood. Maybe it was folly to try to bridge it. But as I had taken responsibility for him I had to at least try. If the beast still ruled his mind when he woke, I could still leave him behind.

But as I was thinking this, he started to shift restlessly below me and then suddenly, he changed. His limbs grew longer, the pelt receded till it was a naked human lying there on the ground next to the tree, still curled up, still asleep. The beast had spend his fury and withdrawn at last. Maybe now I would be able to have a decent chat with the fellow. Maybe even learn his name.

Silently I left my perch and climbed down to have a closer look at him.

He still had the mangy mane of dark hair and the face he hid behind his arms was quite furry with beard but apart from that he was rather clean now after his long bath the previous evening. And beneath all the grime that had covered him in his cage a rather good-looking man had emerged.

Taking a cautious step closer I sniffed his hair. Still smelling of wolf mostly, but with a nice twist, spicy somehow. Maybe given some time I could actually grow to like it. As long as he learned that chasing cats was not an acceptable behavior.

Gently I nudged him with a paw to wake him up.

---

- Marton -

When I awoke from my somewhat blood-drenched dreams, I admittedly was at a loss to explain what had happened. Of course, I vaguely remembered that I had been chasing Orli up a tree and barking like mad underneath it until I had fallen asleep.
But the why of my actions somewhat eluded me.

Blinking at the huge cat that gently pawed my face, I tried to figure out what was different. And as I tried to scratch myself behind my ear with my leg, the difference struck me like lightening. I had returned to my human form, and staring at my feet that were suddenly very far away from my head I broke into gleeful laughter.

And even better, the beast I had caged in for such a long time, the beast that had finally overwhelmed me when I had dug my nose into bleeding flesh, that very beast in my mind was now silent and feeling asleep like an exhausted puppy after his first time chasing a rabbit across the fields. I had lost my struggle, but I had not lost my freedom. Instead, I had gained a bit more of myself.

At a loss of what to say to my feline rescuer, I bearhugged the huge panther in front of me, kissing him flat on his nose. To see the confusion and amused repulsion in his dark face was hilarious, and as he gently but insistently tried to break free of my arms, I let him go with another kiss.

"Thank you", I said, my voice still coarse with disuse. "Thank you."

Sitting down in a distance that ensured I would not be able to tackle him with another inappropriate expression of my gratitude, catboy changed back to his human shape, a lopsided grin in his face.

"Well, at least you remember how to speak, doggy", Orlando said, looking very happy with the turn of events. And rather proud of it. "Anything else you remember?"

"My name's Marton." I had answered without really thinking, and blinked in astonishment at this new fact. I really remembered my name, all of a sudden, and apparently quite some things beside it. Not much, but more than before I had turned into a wolf big enough to chase a grown panther up a tree. "Hope I didn't scare you too much."

"Not at all." Orlando flicked one of his dark curls out of his eyes, grinning widely. "Now tell me, Marton, how did a werewolf like you get into that pathetic situation I rescued you from?"

At his words, a dark wave of dreaded memories clashed against my mind, but I didn't let them in. Too much I reveled in my new-found mental freedom that I could allow the past to take any hold of me. "I don't remember much", I replied honestly. "Actually, I remember very little at all."

Studying my companions face as if I might find an answer there, we both looked at each other for quite some time, then I pieced together what little I could make out from the fragmented rests of memories I could still reach. "I remember my name, and that I was a car-mechanic. I think I was running my own business, or at least was in a pretty independent position. Much more than that, I can't say. There are images of running at night, of howling at the moon. And then, one day, I was in the cage you found me in. I think the rest you can gather yourself."

"Well, that's not much of a story." Orli shrugged and rubbed his nose. "And next time you try to hug and kiss me against my will, I will get you some nice scratch-marks to make you remember."

"So there is a chance of kissing you if you want to?" I couldn't swallow that remark, but Orli obviously didn't take it as in insult. At least, not seriously so.

Breaking into hilarious laughter, he rose from his crouching position, saying with a snicker: "Well, you'll massively have to improve on your manners before I'd even consider. And on your looks. You look like having only partially reverted, judging by the fur in your face."

Well, a few months worth of beard was hanging in my face, he was right, but that didn't really justify his reaction. Perhaps he just wasn't into guys. Or wolves. Or maybe I wasn't blond enough?

With a shrug, I rose as well, suddenly rather conscious of my complete lack of any clothing, and followed catboy towards the remnants of my last meal.

"Alright", Orli started as he knelt down, "Let's see if we can get some decent pieces of meat out of this fat little thing before the farmer comes looking. And then we should be off and see that we get you some decent clothing. And a shave."

His last words were accompanied by a mirthful snicker, and I just couldn't help myself but wanting to tousle his curly hair. Apparently, this would still be a very interesting trip with him...

------

- Orli -

Drawing my well used knife from it's boot sheath I had a closer look at the mangled, bloody mass that my wolf companion had left of the calf. Obviously he had never learned how to feed properly either. But I had known that the moment he started dragging the poor thing around instead of ripping it. With some work I managed to cut out some nice pieces and to take off those parts of the calf's hide that could be used to wrap up the meat.

Doggy watched with a mixture of curiosity and disgust. He looked like he had just emerged from the stone age with utter lack of clothing and the long beard but anybody looking into his eyes would have seen that he was quite civilized. Not like me at all.

I would really have to find him some clothes. Wouldn't do, if he caught me staring. He did wake some rather hot and itching mating instincts.

Mentally I slapped myself. A wolf, for crying out loud! I must be raving mad. He had even dared to kiss me! But that had been more an expression of joy so that should be forgiven. In a couple of days.

But it was indisputable that he was quite interested in me. I could smell it on him.

Chuckling softly to myself I got up again when I was done and looked him up and down.

"So," I said, "ready to go?"

He nodded, then shrugged. "Where to?"

Good question. Where was I going to take him? Over the border to spend the winter in Mexico still sounded like a good idea. Lots of time to teach him how to survive, how to behave, good hunting too. We could live on the money I had earned a bit, then see what we could steal to get by. Real easy life. Boring.

"I think we'll go visit my sis in LA. She's rich. She'll be delighted to see me."

He raised and eyebrow. "Is she... well... like you?"

A wide toothy grin spread on my face. "You bet."

He didn't look reassured at all.

I clapped him on the shoulder companionably. "Don't worry, doggy, I'll protect you from her wrath."

"Marton." he corrected me.

My grin got even wider. "Whatever you say, doggy."

His eyes glowed with a slight shade of yellow suddenly and a low growl rumbled in his throat. And then he had that delightful confused, apologetic look again.

"Got ya!" I grinned.

"YOU! You impossible... kitty!" he exclaimed, trying to playfully hit me.

I dodged easily, starting to jog off westward. "Come on, doggy, race you to LA! If you catch me you, get a kiss!" I called over my shoulder, knowing that he had no choice but to follow and no chance of getting me if I didn't let him.

- the end...

not

there will be more on Orli and his werecat siblings so stay tuned

 

If you enjoyed this story, please send feedback to: Osiris Brackhaus & Beryll

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