"Watching You"
by Beryll
Your skin glistens pale in the light of the moon, crystal water running down your back. My fingers itch to touch you, to find out if this skin is as smooth as it looks.
How can a man leading your life be so beautiful?
Look at me, I'm a gnarled, twisted thing. Drunkard, killer, grump. I've been called all that and rightly so. I am not a good man. Goodness died in me with my mutilated wife breathing her last breath in my arms.
But you, you are beautiful within and without. Your purpose making your spirit shine in a flame bright and hot enough to burn away the darkness even in my heart.
I watch as you splash water all over you, laughing at the simply joy of cleaning away the grime that clings to you. I know that it was Marion who send you to take a bath. I was there when she chastised you for being a filthy thing and that she would not deign to touch you, should you not remove your stink.
I would take you gladly, filthy or pure. It wouldn't matter to me.
But all your love is with her - and rightly so. She is as beautiful as you are. She laughs, she dances with you, her belief in the cause is as strong as yours.
Whatever reason would you have to love something like me?
So my only benefit is watching you scrub yourself clean. Watching you hidden from you, like a hunter watches his prey. And even this moment of you and me alone is a gift I will treasure.
I wonder what you see in me. I hope that you at least see me as your friend. I know I am not likable. But you like Much. So if you can see a whiny useless kid as a friend maybe you can see a whiny aging brawler as a friend too. In a heart as generous as yours there seems to be room for countless friends.
Still I dream.
In my dream I step out of this hiding place. And you do not shy away. You watch me with curiosity and anticipation. And when I confess what I feel you neither mock nor flee. You smile that gentle smile that has ever been reserved for Marion. You take my face in your hands, fixing me in place with a mere glance. You tell me that you have just waited for me to say the word. You say that you have been watching me as I have been watching you. You tell me you feel for me what I feel for you. You kiss me with a passion that burns my lips and makes me want so much more. You strip me of my clothing and right next to this stream, I teach you how to love a man, just like I have taught you how to use your sword. And my heart beats in happiness, basking in your light.
But it can never be.
You are done with your washing, wadding out of the stream, humming as you put your clothes back on, eager to get back to Marion.
You are so full of live. As if you were trying to have it all as quickly as possible.
We all know. Your destiny will not allow you to die of old age. Doom looms on the horizon and it could strike any day.
So far, your luck holds. But we all know that one day this will change. One day there will be no escape in the last moment. One day you will die.
But as long as I live I will try to push that day back and back and back. I will watch over you.
Because I love you.
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